Thursday, October 8, 2009

Some scattered thoughts

I arrived back in Boston Monday morning, Kemps ice cream bucket filled with my grandmother's Christmas ornaments in hand. It's the first time I've been home in the fall since 2003, and boy I ever miss raking leaves and the colors of my yard. Sure, Illinois and Massachusetts have beautiful colors during the autumn --- but they don't have the colors of the trees in my backyard or for that matter, a dog that loves you unconditionally no matter what.

I also watched six hours of BBC's Pride and Prejudice on the plane (thank goodness for a computer that has a working battery!) It's amazing how at different points in your life you can define your feelings by a character. Today, for me, I'm a Jane Bennett. I usually tend to be Eliza Bennett, as I'm a bit on the opinionated side (ha! according to my mom, this is why I'd make a terrible trophy wife). But right now...I'm feeling a bit helpless about those people I care about. But as a friend reminded me, think of the alternative...and I've realized that not caring about others is simply impossible for me. It's not going to happen.

But at the same time, I wish there was more I could do. And then, of course, those helpful people remind me that "oh but difficult times are how you GROW and figure out who you really ARE." And it kind of makes me want to shoot them in the face.

But they mean well, and the rational side of me accepts their thoughts and knows that they're right. Still want to shoot them in the face, though. Or at least give them a taste of this growth they know is such a good thing. I know I'm all of, well, not old, but I feel like I don't need problems to tell me who I am.

Also - I read this today:

"Brigitte, one of Germany’s most popular glossy women’s magazines, announced on Monday that it will no longer use models in photo spreads in response to changing ideas about beauty.

Instead, the Hamburg-based title published by Gruner+Jahr plans to choose from readers who register online and staff members based on their meaningful qualities other than their dress size.

“Attractiveness has many faces,” editor of the bi-monthly Brigitte Huber said in a statement. “Whether they are actresses, musicians, first ladies or women on the streets of big cities – they all affect fashion and beauty styles.” "

I like it. Nice choice of name, too.

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